Chicken Payback
A joint mission with New Canton could finally put Abel on the path to recovery. Cast *Sam Yao *Maxine Myers *Archie Jensen *Mildred Van de Graaff Plot Retrieve Barbed Wire Maxine implores Sam to set aside Abel’s differences with New Canton. Nadia is under house arrest, but Archie is out to accompany you. After The Chickens! Sam, Maxine and Archie discuss the Rofflenet stations which are protected by the barbed wire you're aiming to collect. Archie spots some chickens. Come On, Van der Graf! You and Archie each catch a chicken. Sam reminds you not to forget the barbed wire. Keep Collecting That Wire You reach the Rofflenet stations. Archie’s chicken has an accident, leaving you to collect the barbed wire. Pop Goes The Chicken Archie’s chicken escapes and is promptly blown up; the ground is covered in landmines. Ramona Gotterdamerung Archie is sad that her feathered companion is dead; Sam is upset he's lost his potential dinner. You and Archie head back with the barbed wire. Transcript SAM YAO: Look, sighs I really don’t think Runner Five’s up to it. Not for the first mission based out of Abel Township! It’s not my call, of course. Not gonna make decisions for someone else, but I think - MAXINE MYERS: I get it, Sam, really, I do. But the Major’s been explaining how important working together with New Canton is. We’ve got that summit coming up - peace discussions! For the survival of the human race, we have to share resources and expertise, and not keep on with this backbiting, childish tit for tat! SAM YAO: Childish tit for tat? Are you saying that deliberately trying to get Runner Five killed is just, what? What is it, a game? MAXINE MYERS: We’ve got a larger enemy, here, Sam. Van Ark is the one who attacked us. He’s the one who fired that rocket launcher at Five’s chopper. He’s the one who keeps sending his zoms against us. He’s got Paula! SAM YAO: Yeah. Yeah, I know. How are you? Since we found out Paula’s, um… working with Van Ark? How are you? MAXINE MYERS: Fine. Yeah, I’m fine. SAM YAO: Okay, yeah, fine. Hearing that. Raise the gates! I guess, well… open the gate. opens Yeah… go! gunshots MAXINE MYERS: New Canton have put that operator Nadia under house arrest. They know what they did was wrong. They’re trying to make amends in all ways they can. ARCHIE JENSEN: They’ve sent me! SAM YAO: Yeah… I, uh… whispers Is that amends, exactly? It’s not quite - ARCHIE JENSEN: It’s going to be lots of fun, today! We need barbed wire to make your township secure so you can come to the meeting. And maybe we’ll find some apples? I love apples! So crunchy! Well, the old ones are soft and sweet. snorts All apples are good apples! MAXINE MYERS: whispers Can you believe she has a PhD in protein crystallography, Sam? From Cambridge. SAM YAO: whispers I still think she might stop dead in the middle of a zom attack to look at an interesting cloud. “Dead” being the operative word. ARCHIE JENSEN: Come on! There’s barbed wire around one of the Rofflenet transmitter stations that way. We can cut it off for now. Borrowing is okay! SAM YAO: sighs Right. Let’s make it a good one. Mission to retrieve barbed wire from Rofflenet station: go! SAM YAO: Who put up these Rofflenet stations, anyway? I mean, it’s a bit organized, in the light of the um, well, you know. The zombie plague. MAXINE MYERS: I think it was mostly done piecemeal by survivors, using old transmissions stations, that kind of thing? Some dedicated radio and communications people left transmitters powered by solar or wind generators to be repeater stations. ARCHIE JENSEN: How would they do it? Hmm. I expect any old Linksys router would do. Just grab two APs with microwave dishes, flash the router with DD-WRT, simple BGP routing table, and hook the whole thing up to a car battery, and it would work just fine! If you would put on a wind turbine, the LEDs would probably keep on blinking for years. Very clever of them. SAM YAO: I… uh, yeah. Um. That sounds about right, yeah, definitely. ARCHIE JENSEN: This one’s very well looked after. A fence, and barbed wire. Like a little bird in a nest! It won’t mind if we take some of the wire for now. And then you can come and visit New Canton, because you’ll know Abel will be… gasps chickens! SAM YAO: Abel will be… chickens? Is… is that some kind of tech jargon? MAXINE MYERS: Look, she’s right! On our cams, just to the north of the repeater station. It looks like a small flock of chickens! It must have come from some farm. SAM YAO: Now, I don’t know how to, um, flash a router with a WD-40 or whatever it was, but I am pretty sure that chickens produce eggs? ARCHIE JENSEN: And sometimes baby chickens! SAM YAO: Which makes more eggs? MAXINE MYERS: whispers Her grasp of biology is really impressive. SAM YAO: So, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking… ARCHIE JENSEN: Come on, Runner Five, with me! After the chickens! clucking ARCHIE JENSEN: That’s okay, little chicken, we’re going to take you back to Abel and give you a nice life, with grain and things to peck! SAM YAO: whispers At least until we roast you with a wild mushroom sauce. ARCHIE JENSEN: Hmm, but how are we going to cut the barbed wire around the transmission station? MAXINE MYERS: Put it under your arm, wings folded so it’s not uncomfortable. … What? I grew up on a farm, okay? SAM YAO: I didn’t say anything. MAXINE MYERS: You didn’t have to say anything. ARCHIE JENSEN: Oh, she’s so happy now! I’m going to give her a name! SAM YAO: Oh, don’t do that! We might want to, well, you know, eat it! ARCHIE JENSEN: I will call her Mildred! Or maybe Van de Graaff? Do you think she’s more of a Mildred or a Van de Graaff, Five? SAM YAO: Yeah, okay. Uh, so, with the chicken under that arm, and Five’s chicken rather more sensibly nestled in a backpack, off to get that barbed wire now? To defend Abel against attack by zombies? You remember the zombies? ARCHIE JENSEN: Come on, Van de Graaff! Let’s go for a run! clucking clucking ARCHIE JENSEN: Okay, I see. There are strips of barbed wire attached around the fence keeping zombies from the transmission hut. So, if I stand here, and - SAM YAO: Yes. You stand there, with the chicken in your hand, and snip the barbed wire, and Five, you run around the fence and reel it in. You’ve got gloves, yeah? Um… we sent Runner Five out with gloves to get barbed wire, yeah? MAXINE MYERS: I’m pretty sure. ARCHIE JENSEN: Oh, yeah, we have gloves. Good for getting chickens. Not so good for stroking chickens. Hmm. I wonder if chickens like to be stroked. Do you think they do? SAM YAO: Good job with the barbed wire, Runner Five! ARCHIE JENSEN: Ow, ugh! Ew! SAM YAO: What is it? Zoms? ARCHIE JENSEN: Mildred Van de Graaff has gone poo poo all over my hand! Oh, it’s coming out of her bottom! Oh! gasps I dropped her! Come here, Van de Graaff, come here! SAM YAO: Uh, yeah, Runner Five? Keep running around collecting that wire, yeah? clucking ARCHIE JENSEN: Mildred! Van de Graaff! You naughty girl, come here! No, don’t, don’t! Don’t go through the fence! No! SAM YAO: The chicken has gone under the fence. I repeat, the chicken has gone under the fence. ARCHIE JENSEN: Van de Graaff, come here! MAXINE MYERS: There’s a bit of fence over there where Runner Five’s unwound all the barbed wire, where you could climb over to get it, Archie. SAM YAO: Yeah, where Runner Five has been unwinding the barbed wire? ARCHIE JENSEN: Okay, I’m going to climb over. Come here, Mildred Van de Graaff! There’s nothing for you in that transmission hut! rattling When I just get over this fence, I’m going - explosion Oh! SAM YAO: What? MAXINE MYERS: Ugh… ARCHIE JENSEN: Mildred Van de Graaff has exploded. SAM YAO: So, what, we’re thinking - spontaneous chicken combustion? Chicken, uh, destruction rays from space? ARCHIE JENSEN: Landmines. MAXINE MYERS: Yeah, I was pretty much thinking landmines. SAM YAO: Yeah, yeah, well, that was my first thought, too. We should send someone back to put up warning signs, in case anyone else thinks of scaling the fence. ARCHIE JENSEN: I’m sad. Mildred Van de Graaff is dead. SAM YAO: And she didn’t even end up a supper. MAXINE MYERS: Sam! SAM YAO: Listen, um, I didn’t make a joke about an “egg”-splosion, did I? laughs Don’t say I’m not respectful. MAXINE MYERS: laughs Yeah, well, that’s a “poultry” excuse! laughs Oh well, it looks like we got enough barbed wire to patch that hole. Come on home. ARCHIE JENSEN: I will miss Mildred Van de Graaff. She was so rebellious and naughty. And why would someone put landmines around this little hut in the middle of nowhere? Why have they not thought of chicken safety? SAM YAO: Yeah, it is a bit weird. Whoever designed the protection around this little comms hut did a… “bang-up” job? MAXINE MYERS: Did you honestly just say that? SAM YAO: I think I did, yeah! I mean, I started, and I just couldn’t make it stop. ARCHIE JENSEN: It is sad about Mildred. But I will come back another day to find a new chicken. I will call it Hubert Vexillology. Or… no, that’s a silly idea. Hubert is a boy’s name. Instead… Ramona Newton! SAM YAO: For the first time, probably ever, I think I have nothing to say to that. Come on home, runners. Category:Mission Category:Season Two